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The statistics are indeed gloomy, and reflect a negative correlation between large age gaps and relationship longevity, with the rate of divorce getting higher as the age gap increases. And beyond that sweet, sweet chemistry, there are so many variables that need to fall into place for a relationship to be sustainable. And if that chemistry is truly fire, we work to make them line up. There are a million reasons we can find or create for why a relationship won’t work out.

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Similarly, assuming that a greater number of experiences necessitates a deeper level of maturity overlooks the reality: that it’s the meaning we glean from experience that makes it worthwhile, not simply its occurrence.

An international party boy who has seen the Seven Wonders from a cross-faded perch on his yacht is not necessarily a shining beacon of cultural competency simply because he’s covered a lot of surface area. What about physical limitations, libido and “biological time clocks”? These are valid concerns and causes for consideration (although Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart seem to be doing alright).

An engaging, challenging and expansive connection isn’t about being exactly the same.

Online dating tools allow us to set demographical filters that limit our exposure to people who are different from us and outside of our comfort zones, facilitating a romantic climate reflective of our polarized political climate. It’s fine to have trends, tendencies and general preferences when it comes to who you gravitate towards romantically. It’s fine to have a type (please send any irreverently intellectual Latin American men with a grungy edge and a heart of gold my way).

“It’s really just about whether you’re on the same wavelength and whether you’re ready for the same things at the same time,” says Patrick, a 32-year-old graphic designer in New Orleans.

Last modified 05-Jan-2020 09:59