“I don’t have a girlfriend, but I know a girl that would get really mad if she heard me say that.” – Unknown 7. My dealer sure has some explaining to do.” – Unknown 8.
“I have 3 kids and no money, why I can’t I have no kids and 3 money.” -Homer Simpson 9.
“I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather..
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“My girlfriend used to smoke after sex, so we started using lube.” – Jimmy Carr 23.
“Circumcision is popular because Jewish girls won’t touch anything that’s not at least 15% off.” – Unknown 24.
“I don’t want to be part of a club that would have me as a member.” – Groucho Marx 19. She used to like to dress up like herself, and act like a fucking bitch all the time.” – Bo Burnham 20. got a full house and 4 people died.” – Steven Wright 21.