Once in my 40s, I first did what many men do — I was attracted to the women I had been attracted to when I was last single, and initially dated a lot of women in their mid-to-late 20s. I had modest career success, but nothing close to what anyone would call “wealth.” I could easily take women out to a nice dinner or two, but when excitedly asked, “Will you fly us to Abiza next weekend?
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It was also painfully obvious that there were huge gaps in both maturity and common culture / life experience that left an almost unbridgeable gulf in relating to one another.
The difficulty was in finding a woman close enough to my age that we shared any common experience at all, whom I also found attractive — was of a similar body type in regards to my fitness … Eventually my dinner companions rose in average age and the happy medium I found were women in their mid-30s, career-minded enough to be ambitious, but not so status obsessed as to reject a man over the make and model of his automobile — women looking to date a lover, not a lifestyle.
When teens feel over-controlled or coerced, or even when adults do too much for them, it can trigger "autonomy threat," which shuts down teens' willingness to collaborate or engage.
Threats to teens' autonomy may make them feel less able, less trustworthy, and more childlike than adult-like.
Shifting focus from how much respect you feel you're getting, to whether or not you're showing respect, is critical. Self-determination theory asserts that people are more motivated when their underlying needs are taken into account.