If you have baggage, then best to work it out in individual therapy before pursuing a new relationship, at least to a point where it isn’t affecting your reactions and clouding your judgment. Fantasizing about the future: While men are typically (not always) the masters of game playing, women have this one down pat.
When you catch yourself trying on his last name before the third date, it’s time to remind yourself to slow down.
If they don’t let you call them at home, yep, red flag. Of course, there are more subtle warnings that one may be tempted to overlook, especially if one is eager for the relationship to work out.
While one shouldn’t jump to conclusions without sufficient evidence on the first problem that arises, an emerging pattern is not something to make excuses for or brush under the rug.
The worry may be a general habit, but now it is turned on the subject of the relationship: worry about what the other person said, worry about what they meant by it, worry about how you reacted, worry about the relationship not working out, worry about what if it does work out, how will your parents react…on and on.
Being anxious is a mood killer, and will not make you attractive to a potential mate. Try to tap into your self-confidence and trust that if the relationship is meant to work out, it will. Ignoring red flags: If someone doesn’t show up when you’re supposed to meet, that’s a red flag.
Don’t keep making the same mistakes: If you need help in improving your relationships and your life, Therapy can help. Allison Kahner has been helping clients improve their lives for years. Our office has moved to Westchester (scarsdale) Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is proven to help clients with such difficulties as anxiety, stress, panic attacks, depression, and low self-esteem.