That was an important part of what went on behind closed doors." Helen Fisher, Ph D, a research professor and member of the Center for Human Evolutionary Studies in the department of anthropology at Rutgers University, says couples trigger sex drive, romance, and attachment -- along with their attendant hormones, testosterone, dopamine, and oxytocin -- with regular sexual activity. She says that in some hunting and gathering societies, such as the Kung bushmen in the southern Kalahari, couples often make love every day for relaxation.
Married for 14 years, they averaged sex three times a month. "I felt I had to be a porn star or an Olympic gold medalist. We regained an electricity that wasn't always there before." They also lost their inhibitions and embarrassment about the subject and gained confidence.
"Now we can talk about anything." The Mullers had a similar experience.
"You can be good at your job or at sports, but the daily confirmation you get through sex is a super feeling." (Is this something According to the National Opinion Research Center, the average American couple reports having sex 66 times a year.
Newsweek has noted that 15% to 20% of couples have sex less than 10 times a year, which is defined as a "sexless" marriage.
Charla Muller had been married for eight years to her husband, Brad, when she embarked on what she calls "the year of the gift" as a way to celebrate her husband's 40th birthday Rather than fixing anything wrong in her marriage, she writes that frequent sex made her happier, less angry, and less stressed.